Oh, Portland. In the words of the sapient Katy Perry, "you're hot, then you're cold." This spells tragedy for our finicky solanaceous friends, and tomatoes remain firm and jejune-green when they should be touch-tender and blush vermilion.
Fools leave them on the vine, fingers crossed for an Indian summer. But folks, this is a dangerous game. The first frost will blacken and dimple those beauts, and then what?
Sadness.
But take heart: I am the great Green Tomato Liberator. Didn't you get the memo? I am the Maker of Excellent Relish.
And if you're very lucky (very lucky indeed), you left your cherry tomatoes lingering. Oh, those insipid teething rings of vegetable gardening! Cherry tomatoes have one thing going for them: they're ubiquitous (read: easy to nick from your garden).
So yes, I took these, too, you folks, and gave them a saucing they'll (and you'll) not soon forget. Who wants a cherry tomato (much less a million of them) when they can have a sweet and spicy roasted tomato chutney? No one, that's who.
Clutch your pearls, you folks. I'm coming for yours next.
